P|S

then I saw that I have to wake up at 8 to take a placement test.

GOODBYE, DREAMS.

I put off doing my essay all weekend because I thought I didn’t have my binder with me. ALL BE HOLD, MY BINDER WAS IN MY BACKPACK THE ENTIRE TIME. So I was looking over at my peer reviewed paper and seeing what they had to say about it. One guy wrote “try tossing in a provocative question in your conclusion.”

Umm. Yeah, NO! First of all, it’s my final paper and it’s on same-sex marriage, I’m not going for provocative. If it was a paper on erotica, then you have a point. Secondly, you don’t put questions in your conclusion. I get that in some cases they’re acceptable, but it’s almost always frowned upon. Your conclusion is about the moral, the thesis, the lesson learned or the point you’re trying to get across. If you throw a question in there, then it’s going to make the professor think you don’t know anything about the topic.

So please, keep your elementary writing skill comments to yourself, and fix your own shitteous paper.

This weekend was really dissapointing. Not enough things happened, which left me feeling empty.

I spent two days just watching the hours pass knowing nothing would happen but hoping something would.

I’m tired, disappointed, and with too much work. 
But even with all that, I’m still sitting here watching the hours pass by. I’m still waiting.

There must be something so satisfying about having control over other people.
That’s the whole deal with dictators and everything, right? They have total power and control and what they says go. Same deal with parents. They say what goes and what doesn’t and just like that dreams get shattered.

I’m persian, so to say that my parents are not controlling is like saying the sky is not blue. (hint: the sky is blue) They tell you what to do, who to be, and how to be said person. But hey, that’s just persian parent’s, isn’t it? No? Just mine? Really? K, well all of you suck. I gave into their stupid requests of not going out and coming back at a certain time for too long. I come back for thanksgiving and they tell me I can’t go to the movies at 10. Alright. Here’s where you guys went wrong. I wasn’t asking you to go, I was telling you to go. But just like that, they nixed it.

As much as I hate Riverside and everything it stands for, I love it there. I feel free there. Yea, my roommates never leave and the room smells like shit, but I have absolute freedom. I do things when I want, how I want, with who I want. When I come back home it’s as if I’m stuck in the chamber that is my room. I can’t do anything.

One day home and I already miss college.

Today I saw a link on one of my friends facebooks about a $50 digital camera. 10mp, touch screen, anti-shake, etc. It seemed nice. I saw a short little video on it. They said that it normally goes for around $250 but the website only gives away one item a day for a good deal, so I was like why not just be risky and buy it.

I had class in 10 mineuts and knew if I didn’t but it it would either sell out, or my time would run up. 5 minuets left of class and I bust out the credit card and buy it.

I spent about $60 (including shipping) and bought myself a camera. A fucking camera without really knowing what it’s all about. Their return policy is they don’t have a return policy. So I’m just praying to little baby jesus that the camera is glorious. If not, then it’s just $50 that I lost.

I’m going to not look at it from a broke college student point of view. I’m going to look at it from a I have a refund coming in from my financial aid kind of point of view.

totally makes sense SINCE THIS HAPPENED TO ME LAST NIGHT!

brb, freaking the fuck out.

I was laying in bed dreaming. Lucid dreaming. I knew I was dreaming and I was trying to control what was happening but everything just felt weird. I tried to wake myself up but I couldn’t. I opened my eyes but all I saw was a white blur. I tried to move but I couldn’t. I did everything I could to move, but nothing. I kept hearing these weird clicking sounds coming from my ears. I just heard that and I saw these white shadows moving around. I couldn’t move at all. It was as if I was stuck.

I had so many weird dreams last night. I remember most of them, and I was panicking about them. They were all just so out of the ordinary. At one point I didn’t know if it was a dream or reality. I was about to just call up my friend and ask if they’re ok and if everything I saw really happened or not.

Last night was one of the first times I had sleep paralysis here at UCR. Just thinking about it freaks me out because I can still hear the clicks.

I always have to be on the left side of the person I’m walking with.

There’s something called manners that a lot of people don’t have.

Manners to not laugh in the middle of a movie when someone is getting beat.
Manners to  leave the room full of people if you’re on the phone for more than 5 minuets.
Manners to walk into the room quietly at 4am when you know others are asleep.

I’m rarely ever in the room when my roommates are here because we don’t really get along. We remain cordial, but that’s it. No other extra conversations, no real contact. I don’t really have a problem with that, but after 2 months you would expect some sort of friendship to form. Again, I have no problem with not being friends with them, I just want them to understand that by staying in the room 24/7 windows closed, isn’t the best thing possible. I have no privacy. I have no comfort in this room. It smells, it’s cramped, and their side is always dirty.

Whenever they leave I open the window and turn on the ac so the smell would go away. Everything I own in this room has its own personal space. Everything is organized and neat. Their on the other hand is not. Right now, I’m blasting my music to drown the noise of one of them talking on the phone.

Summer ‘10, back in Irvine with my own room again, can’t wait.

My world has just fallen apart.

Life as I know it will never quite be the same again.

~-..oo0oo..-~

lolwut?!

After three months of living with the same people, we have come to the conclusion that a friendship is not in the making. Not a verbal agreement, but we each understand that we each need our own space and by keeping the conversations to a “never happening”, it’ll be best for all three of us.

So here’s to you, acquaintances I never talk to. May you find new friends so I could enjoy some privacy in my own room. May you bathe more often so I would not have to deal with the room reeking. May you find a new microwave to use so the room does not smell like cheese. But most importantly, may you please put your head down and pretend like you don’t know me when we pass by each other when I say hi. Wait, you already do that.

Good Morrow
and
Good Life

Thanks for pointing out every 2 seconds that I got a haircut. I really didn’t notice. Like, how did all that hair just magically disappear?

Please keep reminding me that I go a haircut, because my amnesia keeps kicking in, like 50 first dates status, so I don’t even remember I got a haircut.

Wait, I got a haircut?!